Feeling Discouraged

I attended a pre-nursing workshop in Moorpark today and it was pretty discouraging, at least for hopes of going to school in California. Schools are so impacted, the competition is tough, and it would take years to complete. But the big kicker is I would have to retake all the prerequisite classes to the prerequisites, like English, math, and biology because I took those classes over 5 years ago…I really wish I knew what I wanted to do 8 years ago.

I’m glad I went to the workshop because it was informative and I’m attending another one next week in Ventura but I have a feeling I won’t be staying in California.

I left the workshop feeling frustrated and upset but while I was sitting in traffic I kept thinking maybe this isn’t what I’m suppose to do, maybe God has a better plan for me.
I kept thinking I should just go to Hawaii;
after all it’s something I’ve wanted to do since I was 15 years old.

I can’t help to feel upset with myself. Why don’t I know what to do with my life? Why am I putting so much pressure on myself? Why am I afraid of failing? I’m upset with myself for creating such a wishy-washy life; I’m tired of it. I want to stop caring. I want to stop feeling like my life has to go a certain way.
I just want to live a simple life. I want to live a happy life.

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On a more cheery note, last night I drove down to LAX to surprise and welcome home my friend Becky from the Peace Corps. It was so good to see her and I’m excited she is home. I couldn’t help but feel emotional on my drive home because I have been so blessed to have great people in my life and I’m so grateful for my time in Guyana. I can’t wait to see more of my Returned Peace Corps Volunteers.