Santa Monica

I spent the day in Santa Monica

with my friend Becky!
It's so nice that we are both in Cali.
And it was so good to spend the afternoon together stateside
walking, talking, shopping, and eating frozen yogurt.
We have a list of adventures we want to do
now we just have to get the ball rolling.

Playful sea lions

Yay for being at the beach together

I love 3rd street

The Pacific ocean is beautiful...I love it

Soul Mate

“A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.”

— Elizabeth Gilbert

Feeling Discouraged

I attended a pre-nursing workshop in Moorpark today and it was pretty discouraging, at least for hopes of going to school in California. Schools are so impacted, the competition is tough, and it would take years to complete. But the big kicker is I would have to retake all the prerequisite classes to the prerequisites, like English, math, and biology because I took those classes over 5 years ago…I really wish I knew what I wanted to do 8 years ago.

I’m glad I went to the workshop because it was informative and I’m attending another one next week in Ventura but I have a feeling I won’t be staying in California.

I left the workshop feeling frustrated and upset but while I was sitting in traffic I kept thinking maybe this isn’t what I’m suppose to do, maybe God has a better plan for me.
I kept thinking I should just go to Hawaii;
after all it’s something I’ve wanted to do since I was 15 years old.

I can’t help to feel upset with myself. Why don’t I know what to do with my life? Why am I putting so much pressure on myself? Why am I afraid of failing? I’m upset with myself for creating such a wishy-washy life; I’m tired of it. I want to stop caring. I want to stop feeling like my life has to go a certain way.
I just want to live a simple life. I want to live a happy life.

........................................

On a more cheery note, last night I drove down to LAX to surprise and welcome home my friend Becky from the Peace Corps. It was so good to see her and I’m excited she is home. I couldn’t help but feel emotional on my drive home because I have been so blessed to have great people in my life and I’m so grateful for my time in Guyana. I can’t wait to see more of my Returned Peace Corps Volunteers.

Tuesday's Letter

I got together with my old friend Brittany. It was so good to see her and catch up on everything that’s been going on in our lives. I met her on the dance team my freshman year of high school and although our lives have taken us in different paths I’m thankful I still have her as a friend.

She hasn’t changed much and having lunch with her brought back so many memories.
At one point we talked about things we want in life and we both said we never imagined our lives would be like they are today back in high school. {I think it’s so important to have friendships that remain from the past…who else would you have to laugh with about old times?}

Our visit made me realize how different my life is from most of my friends. I choose to take a much different path in my life. I’m not saying that’s a bad or good thing either way, it’s just different.

Now I’m feeling like it’s time for me to settle down, to grow up. It’s time for me to get a career. It’s time for me to be independent. It’s time for me to have my own place to live. It’s time for me to have money in my bank account. I want certain things in life...I have a dream of how I want my life to be and I’m tired of feeling like life is just passing me by.

BUT there’s still a part of me that wants to be spontaneous, impulsive, and carefree. There’s a part of me that wants to travel the world {I think that’s ingrained in me}. And there’s still a part of me that wants to move to Hawaii.

I am feeling a little anxious right now…

One thing I’ve been focusing on is it’s never too late to change your life. I truly believe that and it’s something I’m working on.

Figure It Out.

Kinda how I'm feeling.
But I'm also feeling like I kinda need to figure it out.

Hollywood

I went with Greg and Tori to Hollywood.
There was a documentary promotion at a house on the Hollywood Hills,
it was actually really cool and I enjoyed my time.
The documentary was about 3 people who traveled the Appalachian Trail for 5 months.
It was interesting and even brought up some of my memories of Peace Corps.
The girl who traveled the trail and made the video was there and talked with us before the video and answered questions afterward.

I think it would be pretty amazing to do something like hiking the the Appalachian Trail but I don't know about for 5 months.

After that we made our way down to Hard Rock Cafe on Hollywood Boulevard to see a couple bands.
I can't believe I had never been down Hollywood Boulevard to see the Walk of Fame before.

Hollywood is an interesting, exciting part of California.
I especially love the Hollywood Hills.

In Honor

Today we honored & celebrated Poppy Steve.

The service was very nice & I loved that my dad shared a brief timeline of Poppy in his life.
Although the circumstance has been sad it has been great spending time with family.
{It's been too long since I've seen some family members}

The day was full of memories & stories.
The weather in Lancaster was beautiful & I know Poppy was looking down on us smiling.
My heart goes out to my Grammary.